Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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