That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
