I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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