I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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