He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
