I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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