I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
