Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
