I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
