You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
