You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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