let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
