In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
