It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
