i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You are the jesus of drinking
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
