now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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