Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
