She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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