I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
