It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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