I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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