i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
