NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
