Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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