Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
