He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
