i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
