u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
