im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
