I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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