I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
