Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
