The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
