It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
