Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
