yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
