Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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