You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There r osticjed everywhere
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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