Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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