Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
