I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize