i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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