i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
