Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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