Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
