he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
