my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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