Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize