i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
