Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
