what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
