Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
