She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
