Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
