ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
