So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
