dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
