she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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