Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
