Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Are we still banned from the library?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
