you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
